How To Get Over Shyness - The One Mistake Most Shy People Make

Do you really want to know how to get rid of Shyness ? 

Are you prepared to forget everything you thought you knew about being less shy and replace it with the truth? Then read on.

The one biggest mistake I see shy people making is being controlled by their emotions. Nearly all shy people make this basic mistake.

• If you avoid people who make you feel shy, then you are being controlled by your emotions.
• If you avoid public speaking because it makes you feel anxious, you are being controlled by your emotions.
• If you don't do something just because it makes you feel nervous or afraid, then you are being controlled by your emotions.

I hate to repeat myself, but this is an absolutely essential point. In order to get over your shyness, you have to become less controlled by your emotions. This doesn't mean to suppress your emotions, it simply means to act in spite of them. Mark Twain was the one who said "Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it."

That is the ability you need to build if you want to overcome your shyness. You have to have the ability to act in spite of feeling a certain emotion. This means that if you feel afraid to do something, you do it anyway. Act in spite of fear.

• If you raise your hand in class even though it makes you nervous, you are acting in spite of fear.
• If you talk to people even though they make you feel shy, then you're no longer being controlled by your emotions.
• If you talk to groups and make public presentations, then you are the one in charge now, not your fear.

Once you start acting in spite of fear, you will become more relaxed and easygoing in situations which used to make you nervous and shy. When you stop avoiding your fears, you allow your mind to desensitize to them. In psychology, this is also called habituation.

This approach is very common for therapists to use on someone with social anxiety. In cognitive-behavioral therapy, the "behavioral" part is acting in spite of fear. Of course, many shy people can't or are not able to simply "face their fears."

This is why changes to your thinking are also a necessary part of getting over shyness. That's the cognitive part of cognitive-behavioral therapy.

If you want to learn proven strategies and techniques for overcoming shyness that go far beyond "face your fears" and "what's the worst that can happen ", then click to read more on how to overcome shyness.

Social Anxiety Tips - 3 Ways To Lower Your Fear

Learning some quick tips and techniques can be the best way to start overcoming your social anxiety. 

The three main areas to focus on are your thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Attacking your social anxiety from these three areas at the same time will have a compounding effect on the results you get. Focus on the ones you have the most difficulty with now, and then move on to the others.

Your thoughts and how you manage them can have a substantial impact. If you have time, look into cognitive behavioral therapy for a complete set of tools on managing your thoughts. If you just want to try some quick techniques out right now, then keep reading this article. One way to lower your anxious thoughts is to accept them. It sound like a contradiction, but it isn't. Once you fully accept yourself, even down to your anxious thoughts, which are a "flaw," then you'll feel a lot less inferior to others. If you have thoughts or feelings of inadequacy or inferiority often, then it usually just comes down to accepting yourself and then working towards a better future at the same time.

Also try thinking a lot less. Most socially anxious people think way too much, which makes them stuck inside their head. If you can slow down your anxious thoughts by switching your focus to the people around you, then you should be able to think a lot less, which will make you less anxious.

If you have social anxiety, then it's normal to feel lonely, sad and depressed. Unfortunately, these are the exact types of emotions that will drive off potential friendships or relationships. People don't like to be around people who are sad and depressed all the time. Instead, you want to be fun and happy a good deal of the time. How do you do this? Try smiling. The simple act of smiling actually releases chemicals in your brain that start to make you feel more happy automatically If you don't believe me, then try it for yourself. How much different do you feel when you are slouched over and looking bored versus sitting up straight with a huge smile on your face?

The last tip I'll show you is the one which may make the most lasting changes to your level of social anxiety. Here it is: face your fears directly. It may sound like impractical advice if you are very socially anxious. In that case, you need to start with small fears and build your way up. Maybe try to make and hold eye contact outside with three people outside today and then move on to bigger fears.

If you want to learn more ways of coping with social anxiety, then click to read more on curing social anxiety.